The Black Cauldron

Listen as we discuss the 1985 film The Black Cauldron. Cult classic or dog water?

Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome back to Random Rentals. It is I, your host, Jose. And your co-host, Berto. Yep. Sometimes he calls himself Berto. Sometimes it's Roberto.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

I don't think he knows his name.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

I I think I know my name. I think it's just, you know, like a nickname.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

I think. I mean, I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. We have watched a new film and it's called The Black Cauldron. Uh let the career now.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

It is a new film to us.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Alright, yeah. It is an older film. It's from 1985. It's called The Black Cauldron. I was gonna say we are now certified Gurgy haters. People who watch that movie probably like that's the best part of the movie. Gurgy, that's my guy. Fuck that guy. I don't even know what he is. Could be Androgynous. I don't even think they mentioned the gender. Nah, they did not. Yeah, they just kept calling him Gurgy. Calling it Gurgy. Yeah, because it's it's Gurgy.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

That's it.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

If you look up the film on Google, you know how Google has like an AI overview and it gives you quick facts?

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

So it'll give you like the budget of the film, the director, all that stuff. It just says animals. Gurgy. That's that's it. Brother. So this movie's from 1985. Two years after I was born. This is an animated feature. It is also the film that released before the last movie we saw we saw, which was the um the Great Mouse Detective.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

With I'm I'm still fucking just impressed by the title that you gave that episode, by the way. Thank you. Such a good fucking title for that episode.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

You know how long that title took me to come up with? How long? Like two seconds, dog. Fuck. They're not, dude. All bangers just they they don't take time, you know. Sometimes they just come to you quick. Right off the cuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

What was the title? Share the title.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Uh The Great Mouse Detective. If you rat once, you'll rat again.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

That's fantastic. Such a good fucking title.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

I don't care, man. Fight me on that. I will die on that hill.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

So we saw this film because I was curious about it, because the Great Mouse Detective came out a year after this one. And we were talking about how the Great Mouse Detective was the film that saved Disney after this film, the Great, you know, the Black Cauldron, almost bankrupted them. So to give people some quick knowledge.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

No, no, no. Before we hop into the knowledge, I just want to say I did not want to watch this movie. What bro, it's a it's a cult classic. I did not want to watch this movie. It's a cult classic. You can say that as many times as you want, but it just it doesn't change the fact that I did not want to watch this movie. I had asked you multiple times, like, dude, do we have to watch this movie? Can we watch a different movie? And what was your answer? Fine. Fine. If you want to do that, fine. You know, you you were you gave you gave the angry girlfriend answer.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

Did you watch another movie?

SPEAKER_01 3:28

No, I didn't because I didn't want to make you mad.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

I gave you the option.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

You did not get you gave me the illusion of an option. Your silence is deafening.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

You could have you could have done it.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Nah, nah.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

You just could have done it. I could have been like, well, you know what? Let's watch something else.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

I have been in a faithful, longstanding relationship with my wife long enough to know when a trap has been set.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

What trap? What? Look, man, I'm easy going with this stuff. Yeah. Sure. When have I been like, nah, we need to watch this one immediately.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Uh, this movie.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Because it's a cult classic, man.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

And there's your answer.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

There's your answer again. I'm just saying. Have I ever led you astray? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

You have.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Hey, man. Sometimes I just, you know, I recommend some films that are great. Sometimes they're not all winners. Hey, man. They can't all be bangers. I I honestly can only think of one film that was hot garbage that I recommended. And that's Food of the Gods. Yes. That's all I can think of. The other ones were at least entertaining.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Yes, you are correct. Anyways, go on with your fucking movie facts on this movie.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

So, anyways, going back to my movie facts, um, this film almost bankrupted Disney. They spent 40, what is it, 42? 44 million dollars on this film. Which I looked it up. I I used the inflation calculator. So that would be roughly around, what did I say, 200? No, yes. 120. Roughly around 120 million dollars by today's standards. That's a lot of money.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

For an animated film.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

Yeah, for an animated movie. That's that's insane. So this movie almost bankrupted them because they actually didn't even make like I don't even think they made 25% of that back. Like, it was bad. And now having seen this film, Berto, do you see why?

SPEAKER_01 5:59

I have a couple of suspicions why. Right? The first thing that I told you when watching this movie is the tone of this movie is extremely dark, yeah, for anything previously done by Disney. Like the movie that that came out before this movie that Disney made was The Fox and the Hound. That was their last animated movie that came out before this movie did. And that movie, uh, although I have not seen it yet, um, has some pretty you know dark subject matter, but it's still dark in a cartoony way. Whereas this movie, this movie was very reminiscent to me of like the Hobbit, the animated Hobbit movie, just in terms of the dark fantasy and the animation style as well.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

Yeah, I can see it.

SPEAKER_01 6:51

But it it was dealing with dark fantasy, and this movie for sure had like dark fantasy written all over it. Like, even the you know, the narration at the very beginning of the movie talking about the black cauldron and how it came to exist was pretty dark for a Disney film. And then you get introduced to the fucking you know antagonist of this movie, which is the uh Horned King who's voiced by John Hurt. Um, and it's it's pretty fucking scary. Like, I imagining imagining my kid watching this movie, this movie, he would have immediately covered his ears and started whimpering and crying and begging me to turn this off or to not watch this movie. He would have been terrified of watching this movie, like even attempting to watch this movie, and this kid like does that whenever there's any kind of conflict in a movie. So, yeah, you give me a look, but but like I'm just listening. No, I'm just I'm saying, like, he can't watch any movies that have any conflict in them, and it takes a lot for him to actually watch a movie. Like, we've been watching Kung Fu Panda because I wanted to introduce Kung Fu Panda to him. It took him a couple of tries to watch the first Kung Fu Panda movie before he like was like, Okay, this is okay, this is a you know fun movie to watch. And then Kung Fu Panda 2 could not deal with the dark imagery of uh of the uh protagonist of the or the antagonist of that one either. Who's the antagonist? The uh I forget, I think it's Shenger. No, no, no, it's it's the um the peacock, the white peacock. I think it's Shen, I'm not sure. Oh, okay. But uh, you know, he couldn't deal with the red and black and white imagery uh of of stuff going on the screen, so he was like, Daddy, I don't want to watch this anymore. And uh, you know, I had to I had to appease him, so you know, we we watch something else. But he doesn't he doesn't like any kind of conflict that happens uh in movies, so it's very hard to watch something with him. Um and it's frustrating at times because I just wanna I want him to experience these things, but he's a very gentle kid, and you know, he's on the spectrum as well, so I have to be more aware and cognizant and you know uh graceful with him because you know he's he is a lot more uh delicate to those kind of emotional things going on the screen. So a lot of patience. Um but uh he would not be able to deal with this movie at all because it's super dark, the animation itself is pretty dark in terms of the colors that they use, um and just the subject matter is dark as well. That's completely different. Sorry, uh, and that's also completely different than anything that had come out previously.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

Yeah, when I when I looked this movie up and I kind of saw opinions of what people thought of it, um just you know, from reviews from people on Reddit talking about it and you know whatnot. A lot of people said very similar things that it was a movie that scared them as a child. You know, they or they went to the theater to watch it and they they were afraid. It was something that they weren't used to. And you know, I think this film is it's still very much a children's film, um, as far as like um just you know what they talk about, subject matter, all that stuff, but it does have a much darker tone. You're not wrong about that. Um has a very dry out, like a very dry out, darker palette, a lot of browns, a lot of reds, a lot of not really a lot of blacks, but a lot of brown, a lot of red. Yeah. Um, so I I definitely see what you mean. Um I don't know if I'd be scared of this when I s if I saw as a kid, just because I think you would have been scared. I don't know. I don't remember, I don't remember really what I was was watching as a kid, honestly. Um I watched stuff like Gargoyles, which that was an amazing show. Yeah, but I Gargirls is very similar in not tone, but color palette. I wouldn't say that.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

I don't know. I've been rewatching it. It kind of feels pretty similar, man. I wouldn't say that. I disagree.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

When was last time you saw Gargos, man?

SPEAKER_01 11:53

You know what? That's fair. That's fair too. I've been re-watching it lately. Have you?

SPEAKER_02 11:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

So I think I knew what was the name of uh of Goliath's uh mate, bro. I ain't nobody care about that. I'm there for Goliath.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

I don't care. Wow. How she's not She-Raw. She's not as cool. Wow. Wow. I'm just saying. You just don't know her name. I don't. Exactly. Because I didn't pay attention to her name, man. I'm there for Goliath. I don't know any of the gargirls' names except for him. For real? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

You you you don't know Brooklyn? Nah. You could be lying. You Hudson? Nah. Lexington? Nah. Bro, come on, man.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

That's just selling random names to me. I mean, you could be lying. These could be names. I'm not names that aren't even in the show. They are though. Oh, really? Bronx? I could do it too. Horatio? I can say names. Oh my god. Anyways, back to my point. The color palette is very, very much darker. Very um, you know, it's not bright. It's very uh uh what's it what's the word I'm thinking of? Earth tones? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, earth tones. I guess. Um but overall, like I okay, I'm gonna get into the plot of the movie real quick. Yeah. So the film is based on a book series, which I had no idea. We didn't know until the very end of the film. It's it's based on a book series. So uh it's based on a book series. The film is about this guy who wants to be this great warrior. This kid. Yeah, this kid who wants to be this great warrior. What's the kid's name? Terran. That's all I know.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Terran. I wonder if Taryn uh Eagerton, like if that's his real name or if he picked it based on this movie.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

Hey man. Who knows?

SPEAKER_01 14:18

We just we need to ask him for an interview.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Because we do interview. I know, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:24

So Taryn is a uh he's a pig herder. A pig boy. Yeah, a pig boy who wants to be a a great warrior that is known across the land of uh Pradane, which is what these books are called. I guess they're like the tales of Pradane or something like that. So um the uh I don't know, there's like some prophesizing pig in the movie named Hen. And like I guess when she puts her head in the water, she can see the future. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

It's not just that. Certain words have to be uttered, and you need to hypnotize the pig looking in the water by spinning, making the water spin in a current.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Yeah, anyways, that makes sense. So the the uh the uh the horned king wants to kidnap the pig, you know, hen, so that hen can show the horned king where this black cauldron is. And the black cauldron is used to just I don't know, summon some army of the dead, the understanding so yeah, that's that's the gist of it. Um the main characters are Terran and the princess. Her name is how how did you pronounce it? Do you know how to pronounce it? Fuck no. They were saying it so fast, I was like, ha what?

SPEAKER_01 16:08

I don't even know how to pronounce the fucking bard's name. Like Flabbergaston. Uh Flagoybin. We saw this movie literally 10 minutes ago. And we can't fucking remember the names of any of these. Is it Fluter? That sounds fam that sounds very similar. Yeah, I think it was Fluter. But the way it was spelled. The way it was spelled is confusing. Yeah. Because you know, we're old men that watch uh movies with subtitles.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

So Terran, Fluter, and the princess. Princess, uh Iloney or Ilwani. I have no idea. Watch the movie, you'll find out. Don't watch the movie.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm getting my head of some ahead of my thoughts.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

And then obviously, you know, the uh the horned king. The horned king, the best character in it is Gurgy. If I'm wrong, dude. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

So this kid is tasked to take the pig to an abandoned cottage on the outskirts of the woods. And because he has delusions of grandeur and being a warrior, he decides to fantasize about being a warrior and imagines himself daydreaming of being a warrior and everything, and then he loses the pig. And he immediately immediately loses this pig. And then you're you as the as the viewer is just like, oh come on, dude, you couldn't even fucking keep the pig like safe for five minutes because he runs into this character, Gurgy, who basically is like you know, Smeagle from The Lord of the Rings, mixed with fucking Jar Jar Binks.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

Yeah, it's about right.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Horrible fucking voice, uh, super annoying. Like, I literally saw him, and then he ran away, and I was like, thank god, he's only there for like two minutes or whatever. Nope. Some somehow Gurgy returned. Somehow Gurgy returned like a dark Sith Lord, you know. Um the pig gets captured and abducted by some dragons, taken to the hideout of the horned king, and the you know, kid Tarran goes to you know rescue him and be a hero or whatever, gets captured, of course, shows the horned king the the way to get the uh pig to show him where the cauldron is, and then you know, luckily somehow escapes with the pig and throws the pig into a moat, not knowing if the pig could swim or not, right? Yep, just trying to save this pig, but then throws the pig into the moat, and then he gets captured and put in a fucking dungeon, and then he gets rescued by the princess, uh, who then takes him through the crypt and discovers a magical sword that basically can turn any dweeb into a hero because it basically swings itself to you know defeat enemies, and it's like the master sword because it can fucking shoot lasers and shit. Um only when his health bar is full, though. Uh, and then you know, he escapes with the princess and this old bard uh who has a loot, I guess, and they escape. And then they run into the fucking Gurgy guy again.

SPEAKER_03 20:07

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

And it just looking for his pig. Uh Terran is looking for his pig, and he's taking these people along with him on the ride, and something happens, they find out that the pig has been transported back home, so the pig is safe. But now you have these people who are looking for the black cauldron to stop the horned king from getting his hands on it. They meet three all-powerful witches, one who is for sure a torta. Uh, for those of you that do not know what a torta is, uh, it is a a woman who is very, very thick and voluptuous, right? Um, and her th her two other sisters, right? Um they for some reason have been hiding the black cauldron. Um, but they want to trade for the sword. So the kid gives him the sword, the magical sword. They give him the black cauldron. Of course, it's picked up and taken by the king because, you know, reason sucks at everything. I know, right? Um, and then fucking, you know, Mount Mount Doom in Mordor, you have somebody has to uh because the cauldron is indestructible, somebody has to jump or get into the cauldron willingly, but if they do, they die. Right? And then I guess you find out what Gurgy was made for because Gurge decides to sacrifice his life because Terran finally grew up and was like, Hey, I fucked up. This is all because of me.

unknown 21:59

I

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Need to get into this cauldron to stop the Horned King's army of the dead from advancing on the rest of the world. But no, Gurgy decides to take one for the team, saying one of his last words was saying, Look, man, you have friends. Gurgee doesn't have friends, so I'm gonna go in and do this thing. And he jumps in the cauldron and he dies, and you're thinking, Thank fucking god, this thing is actually dead now. Because god damn, it was so annoying. Um, you were saying that Gurgee was more like Dobby from uh Harry Potter.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

At the beginning, yeah. At the beginning, because he was very much like, I don't deserve anything good. But you know what, man? I've seen the light. Gurgy is the Sam Wise of the Black Cauldron.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

So, anyways, Gurgy dies. Gurgy dies. The you know, fucking horned king is pissed off and wants to sacrifice uh Terran so that he can get the power back. He's sucked into the cauldron instead. Bing boom, the antagonist is taken out, the hero saves the day, but he realizes that he wasn't the hero, it was all Gurgy. Yep, and the witches come back to get the cauldron for safekeeping because I guess they have to, or whatever. And they make a deal for the cauldron saying, Hey, you give us Gurgi, we'll give you the cauldron. They say they can't do it, and then the bard, the old bard, says, Ah, so you aren't witches of great power or whatever, you have no power. That pisses the witches off. They, of course, somehow, you know, bring back Gurgy, and you're thinking, God damn it, his sacrifice meant nothing because they just brought him back, but they didn't bring him back to life, they brought back his body, or so you think, until he starts moving and talking again, and you think to yourself, God fucking damn it, why couldn't this asshole just stay dead and be the fucking hero?

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Hey man, he's still a hero.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Nah, man. Fuck this guy.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

Fuck Gurgy. He was a hero and stayed alive. You know what? That's true. See? He did stuff.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

He who who else can say that. I'm trying very hard to think of someone right now. That's right. Because I know there's an answer there. Like who? That's what I'm fucking doing. I'm thinking.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

Think of them, man. Neji from Naruto. Dead. Bro didn't stay alive. Who? Firefist Ace? Dude didn't stay alive. Bro. That guy from I don't even know his name. I gotta I gotta rewatch it. I was gonna say from Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood. What's his name? Search to the H.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

Uh shit. I know. I know exactly who you're talking about, but I can't remember his name.

SPEAKER_02 25:15

The man was a hero. He didn't survive. Hanj? From Attack on Titan? Dead. The lot of them.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Bro, can can we take a quick sidebar here on Attack on Titan? So let's talk about a good show. Yeah, right? Something to good watch and taste out of my mouth from that disgusting film I just saw. Um so you know that uh that Bruno Mars song, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:46

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

The one with that he did with Lady Gaga. What's it called?

SPEAKER_02 25:49

Die with a smile.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Die with a smile, right? Uh for a while I was seeing a uh I don't know if this is true, of course. I just saw a uh rumor floating around that's old news. Okay, maybe it might be made, maybe it might not be old news to somebody else out there. All right, that's fair. All right. So rumor has it that he came up with this song after watching the Attack on Titan uh show. Right? Is this true? I don't know, but this is what I heard. But somebody made a uh music video using the song and using you know film or you know, snippets of of the show, and also known as an AMV. Yes, yes, known as an AMV, an anime music video. Um and it was fantastic, right? The other day I was listening to this song, and as I'm driving away from my doctor's appointment, I start fucking sobbing because I'm to that song, because uh I was imagining the scenario. Like, and you know, there's a lot of shit going on in the world right now, a lot of fucking shit. We we don't talk about the world at large too much, but when we do, it's like it's just a it's just a um agreement that the world is fucking shit right now, and it could end at any fucking time, right? So that song was playing, and I was thinking put of myself in that same exact scenario, right? And me spending the time with my wife and my kid, and I was sobbing in the car, bro, driving down the street. I told this story to my technician, uh, because today was my last session of uh of that TMS stuff that I was doing. Yep, and he looked at me like I was fucking crazy. He's like, he looked at me as like, dude, I think you still might need more treatments.

SPEAKER_02 28:15

I don't think it's working enough.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

Um we need to pull out the bigger magnets.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

I know, right? Uh, but yeah, like uh the point of it is is that uh this movie I did not enjoy. It was very different from what I was expecting from a Disney movie. It was too dark, too high fantasy for me. Uh, and something about the animation just didn't sit right with me. Like, it looked weird.

SPEAKER_02 28:49

I'm gonna tell you something, and I I think I told you this before we saw the movie, like like weeks ago. Sure. When we first started talking about it. I told you it gave me like Zelda CDI vibes, yeah, and it totally does. Even after watching it, I was like, yeah, it definitely does. It I don't know what they did. I I don't know. Like something about the animation just felt so ugly, even for the time, because they had movies before that that were animated much more nicely. Yeah, so to me, it was just weird to you know to watch that one and be like, what's up with the animation, man? Like, like some of the lines were really rough, which to me felt weird, especially for a film that had such a large budget. Um, and you know, of course everything's hand-drawn back then, but it just it just felt off. You know, you see films like Snow White, Cinderella, much older films, but the lines are so much cleaner, the attention and details there, and this one just felt rushed.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

But the thing is, some of the footage looked very smooth. There were times that the footage, like the the animation, looked incredibly smooth, and it was very jarring to have that happen and then have some shitty animation pop up the very next moment, yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_02 30:22

I I don't know what happened with the production, and it I'm sure if we looked into it, we would see all kinds of things about how the production was crazy, how it's you know, it was just mismanaged. Um, and I think I told you last episode, one of the directors of the Great Mouse Detective was pulled off of this film to work on the Great Mouse Detective, and I feel like that happened a lot with this film. Maybe it changed hands multiple times, you know. Maybe there was somebody working on it, and then you know, they were like, Let's bring in someone else. Like it and it happens, you know. There's tons of stories of like just really poor productions, really poorly managed productions. And I feel like this is one of those cases. Um because when you think about it, like this, you know, this was a a film, it's a Disney film, it's animated, it has all the makings of a pretty decent hero story, and it just fell flat. And it's weird because when you when you think about it, this film, if you think about the story, it's very reminiscent of like old JRPGs. In a way. Um, when I because when I was watching it, I was thinking of Chrono Trigger a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Because I'm like, okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen to me, man. Listen to me. Don't you fucking dare sully the name of Chrono Trigger with this garbage ass movie.

SPEAKER_02 31:50

So if you think of Chrono Trigger, it's Chrono Trigger is a pretty simple story at the beginning, right? Small, you know, small town guy or small town kid, whatever. I don't know how old Chrono is. Small town guy meets up with one person, goes on this journey, and that's it. And then it you know obviously there's a lot more to it after that. But same concept. This is a story that's been done multiple times.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

You could have used any fucking other thing.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Crowd Trader is my favorite game, man. It's the first thing that came to mind.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Bro, please. Please don't do this. Alright, fine. Pick something else. Any Dragon Quest game, same story. Same story.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

How dare you? Pokemon. Same story.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

I'm fine with that one.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

Yeah. One character has to go on his own. Right? Mm-hmm. Fucking original Legend of Zelda on the NES.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

How dare you? What do you mean? This is not the same story because these people that you are mentioning did not have delusions of grandeur. They did not think above their station.

SPEAKER_02 33:10

Help excuse me? Have you not thought of Pokemon? Mr. I Wanna Be the Very Best.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

I'll give you that one. Yeah. That one, sure.

SPEAKER_03 33:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

Macrono, nah. He was just a guy, bro. He was just a guy that was, you know, trying to save people. Have you ever started thinking?

SPEAKER_02 33:34

Maybe Taryn wasn't even the hero of the story. No, he wasn't. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

It was that fucking Gurgy guy. All hell Gurgy, man. Fucking. I swear, bro. Like that character. And I know that you're doing this as a fucking bit, that you're just trying to rile me up. Because I know that you hate Gurgy too.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

Dude's awful. Fucking guy. I swear to Christ, man. As soon as he came on, I was like, God, I hope this character isn't a big deal, but no, he's the fucking He's the fucking hero in this movie.

SPEAKER_02 34:13

It's so funny, too, because I I I don't think you've looked it up, but the Black Cauldron has one of the best like theatrical posters I've seen. This thing just is all aura. Like I'm I'm look it up real quick.

SPEAKER_01 34:37

Okay, hold on. Just look up the black cauldron poster. Make me look up. Are you talking about the original poster?

SPEAKER_02 34:44

Yes. Okay, so I think the one with everyone in the center with the white background?

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Okay, no, that's that's a different one.

unknown 35:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

The one with the spooky forest in the background? Yes. Okay, yeah. This this poster makes this movie look like it's gonna be a fucking joy ride.

SPEAKER_02 35:17

It looks like it's gonna be a banger of a film. Right? And then you watch it and you're like, alright, first of all, this guy's not even a hero. Dude's ruining everything. And I'm I'm sorry, man. To anybody who thinks this is a classic film, the ending's boring. Oh my god, the fucking ending. The the the I don't even remember the dude's name. People are gonna be like, this is one of my favorite movies. You're you're you're talking smack about it. The Horned King. Yeah, I was gonna call him the Crooked King. The Horned King doesn't even fight him. Nope. Dude just pops out of the woodworks and he's like, hey man, let me get in this cauldron real quick. Like, that's all that happens.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Fucking guy gets sucked into a cauldron, and the one of the first things I said to you is it's happening. I'm like, no capes. Yeah, no capes. Dude's to no chance.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

No, bro. It's like, all right, dude, you first of all, you look like fucking skeletor and Bambi's mom banged or something because like you have fucking horns and shit. But bro, this the villain, like the voice for the villain was great, the imagery for the villain, like this guy was fucking scary. Like the aura that he emanated when he showed up in front of his troops was on point. And then he gets sucked into a fucking cauldron, and it's pretty fucking brutal how he goes out.

SPEAKER_02 36:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

Pretty fucking brutal. Like it's crazy the animation that they did for it.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

I was wondering. I was wondering if the Horned King came out after Skeletor. But he did.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

No. I think Skeletor came out first.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's what I said after. I'm just I'm gonna buy you some merch, man.

SPEAKER_01 37:28

I think I think if Gurgy died and he stayed dead, it might have saved this movie's ending.

SPEAKER_02 37:42

I think I'm gonna buy you some Gurgy merch.

SPEAKER_01 37:45

I swear to Christ, if you do that, I will disown you.

SPEAKER_02 37:49

Maybe like a little Gurgy statue.

SPEAKER_01 37:51

Nope. Not even. Not even. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 37:55

It's gonna have a little plaque that says munches and crunches. Dude, fuck you, man. Look, man, like I said, they can't all be bangers.

SPEAKER_01 38:11

They can't. They can't all be bangers. Um, I was just, I don't know, man. Like I knew that this movie was not gonna be good at all.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

I was curious. I was just curious because it is a cult classic film. And with cult classic films, it's you just never know. And this film is split very evenly. On Rotten Tomatoes, it's pretty close to 50% on both sides. Audience and critic. On Letterboxd, it's at a 3.1, which is again pretty much split down the middle.

SPEAKER_01 38:51

Speaking of Letterboxed, we have we have a couple of uh of little things here. I'm gonna give you a couple of reviews. One of the most popular reviews is by our good friend James, because he also wrote one for the great mouse detective, if you recall.

SPEAKER_02 39:17

Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 39:18

He writes, This is like a feature-length version of the Zelda CDI cutscenes, except not funny.

SPEAKER_02 39:28

I don't even think those were funny. I'm telling you, man.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

Four stars. Just give me some munchies and crunchies. Uh Jesus, man. It's just, I don't know, man. I did not like this movie at all. Like, anytime that Gurgy was on screen, I fucking just zoned out. Because I did not like that character at all.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

So we were watching this film, you know, for the listeners, and I asked you a question, you're like, I don't know, man. Gurgy was on screen.

SPEAKER_01 40:09

Like, seriously, I missed the I missed the point that the fairies that they met uh took uh hen home. Took hen home, and I didn't fucking realize that because Gurgy was on screen. I don't even know how they fucking ended up at this witch's cottage. Swatch, man. But like, how did they find it?

SPEAKER_00 40:33

You don't even remember. I don't even remember it. I had to think about that.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

This movie was not good. If you are into high dark fantasy, you might enjoy this film more than I did.

SPEAKER_02 40:55

I don't know. At that point, I'd probably just tell people to watch like the never-ending story or like Dark Crystal.

SPEAKER_01 41:01

Yeah, those are way more fantastic films. But uh, yeah, no, this was a this was a bad movie. I did not enjoy it. I would not want to watch this again. I would not rent this movie, I wouldn't watch it on streaming. If it was on, I wouldn't watch it. I wouldn't I wouldn't torture somebody by putting them through this. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

SPEAKER_02 41:29

Look, man, because you said that, your son's gonna grow up to love this film.

SPEAKER_01 41:36

If he does, I guess dad's gonna go for a pack of cigarettes and a gallon of milk.

SPEAKER_02 41:46

He's gonna be like, Dad, Gurgy's my favorite character.

SPEAKER_01 41:49

Dad, I want to be Gurgy for Halloween. No man.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

Alright, so we saw a movie. That was not good. We saw a movie, yes. We saw a movie. I I want to watch one that's good with you now.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

Oh, yeah, please.

SPEAKER_02 42:10

But I know you're afraid.

SPEAKER_01 42:11

Oh no, is it gonna be a fucking horror movie?

SPEAKER_02 42:14

Yes. Oh but it's because I saw it in theaters and it was fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

Are you talking about uh weapons?

SPEAKER_02 42:20

I am talking about weapons.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

It's not out, uh it's not out though, is it?

SPEAKER_02 42:24

I believe it is now. Yeah. It's out.

SPEAKER_01 42:30

Uh okay, you know what? Yeah, let's. I mean, we're we're heading into October. It's spooky time. It's a s it's a spooky season. So I guess I guess I will give this one to you.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

I feel like in true random rentals fashion, I'm going to watch this film with you. I'll be like, yeah, you know, it's October. Great, we're gonna watch a horror movie, and you're just gonna be like, hey man, let's watch some kunk fuz a period piece. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 43:10

Pride, prejudice, and zombies. We could do that. I wouldn't mind watching that. Neither have I. Maybe that could be our never seen anything, you know, spooptober movie. Is is that a good movie, though? I don't know.

unknown 43:24

All right.

SPEAKER_01 43:25

Hey man, you've said it yourself. They can't all be bangers.

SPEAKER_02 43:28

That is true. That is true.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

So if we're watching weapons, right, then that means I have to come up with a movie that is spooky. Right? So that we can watch it. I mean, uh, to keep with the theme of Spoop Tober.

SPEAKER_02 43:45

You don't have to. I mean, I I know you get pretty scared sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 43:49

Have you seen have you seen Coraline?

SPEAKER_02 43:52

Yeah, I love Coraline.

SPEAKER_01 43:53

Okay, I've never seen it.

SPEAKER_02 43:54

Have you seen first of all, that's not even spooky.

SPEAKER_01 43:56

Have you seen Paranorman?

SPEAKER_02 43:57

I love Paranorman. Well, fuck me. Um

SPEAKER_01 44:00

I own both of those films. Do you really? Yeah. Oh, I did not know that. Um. Have you seen Godzilla versus the Pumpkin King? No. Okay, good, because that movie doesn't exist. Yeah. I never heard of that. Uh geez. I dude, I'm not into scary movies, so you probably have seen more scary movies than I have ever seen. So I'm gonna have to think of one that maybe you haven't seen. You've seen Carrie, right? I've actually never seen Carrie. Okay, well maybe that'll be the one we watched, the original Carrie.

SPEAKER_02 44:44

Yeah, I've never seen it.

SPEAKER_01 44:47

Um this is Stephen King written one, right? I believe so, yes.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

Damn. That guy rates everything.

SPEAKER_01 44:55

Yeah, yeah. So for sure that'll be it. And then I guess we can watch uh what's that other scary movie that we were gonna maybe watch together that neither of us have seen? Um you just mentioned it. I did like two seconds ago I mentioned it. Yeah, you just mentioned it. What was it? Way to fucking pay attention, brother. Do you don't even remember? I don't.

SPEAKER_02 45:29

Ah, what was it?

SPEAKER_01 45:30

We were talking about Coraline. Oh, uh well, Carrie would be my choice, I guess. Yours would be Barbarian.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

It was not Barbarian, it was weapons.

SPEAKER_01 45:41

Oh, yes, weapons, my bad. Barbarian. I've heard.

SPEAKER_02 45:45

I've never seen it actually.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

Oh, maybe we can watch that one because isn't that a horror one too?

SPEAKER_02 45:49

Yeah, it's actually written and directed by the guy. By the same guy, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:54

Maybe we could do that one.

unknown 45:55

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

We're sure. Or uh have you seen or have you seen us? Yes. Okay, I haven't seen that one either.

SPEAKER_02 46:08

Um, dude, what horror movie was it?

SPEAKER_01 46:11

You mentioned it. Just said it. Literally just said it.

SPEAKER_02 46:16

It's gonna come to us after.

SPEAKER_01 46:17

I know, after the episode's all done and fucking recorded.

SPEAKER_02 46:21

Well, um, you got some time to think about it. Yeah, we got some time. We got some time. So, weapons is the next film um written and directed by Zack Krager. Um, funny enough, when I when I when we went to go see it, because I saw it with my friends, um, my friend Felix, you know, shout out, Felix. He was like, uh, I thought Pedro Pascal was in this movie. And I thought he was crazy. So I was like, I've never heard of that. Turns out he was attached to the film at some point. Oh. Okay. And then I guess it just didn't work out. And Josh Browen ended up playing the character he was casted as.

SPEAKER_01 47:01

Another fantastic actor.

SPEAKER_02 47:03

Mm-hmm. Say that again.

SPEAKER_01 47:06

Another fantastic actor.

SPEAKER_02 47:08

Oh, I just meant fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 47:09

Oh, oh, gotcha. Missed that.

SPEAKER_02 47:14

Well, weapons is the next film. Um, I got nothing after that. Got nothing. This film ruined me for the night.

SPEAKER_01 47:32

It was a bad film. Um, I'm sorry to whoever thinks that this movie is great. Um, but you know, everyone's entitled to their wrong opinions, so I I I uh I'm not sorry.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

If you guys want to watch this, go ahead. If you love it, cool. If it's for you, it's not for me. You know, just how it's gonna go.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

Disney sees a huge uptick in their uh views for the Black Cauldron. Yes, because of a very small unknown podcast talked about it.

SPEAKER_02 48:07

Ice. They're gonna be like, we need to make a sequel immediately.

SPEAKER_01 48:13

So something that I noticed, right? Um the movie on Disney Plus doesn't have the original um movie poster for it.

SPEAKER_02 48:27

It has that really weird-looking one, the the one with the green background, right?

SPEAKER_01 48:33

No, it what it has instead was a uh an actual like realistic looking black cauldron with green smoke coming out of it, which made me believe that they had remade it into a live action film. That's weird, right? So yeah, when I when I saw that's why I asked you about it earlier. I had asked you when you picked this movie, are you and I was like, are you talking about the remake? Uh the live action remake? And you're like, no, dude, they haven't remade that one.

SPEAKER_02 49:12

Oh, that's why you asked.

SPEAKER_01 49:13

I was like, Yeah. Because on Disney Plus, it's just a realistic looking black cauldron with green smoke coming out of it.

SPEAKER_02 49:22

That's weird.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:25

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how I feel about that one. I I would much prefer that poster.

SPEAKER_01 49:29

Yeah, that movie. No, the movie poster would be false advertising.

SPEAKER_02 49:35

This looks like a banger of a film. Uh well, folks, that's all I got for the night. Um follow us at randomrentals.bluesky.social. I worked very hard to keep that domain.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

Even though you don't post anything on it.

SPEAKER_02 50:00

Whoa, man, I post stuff on there all the time. Do you? Yeah, in like two-week intervals.

SPEAKER_01 50:06

Yeah, see, nah, you need to post more, dog. You need to get that algo pumping for you, brother.

SPEAKER_02 50:13

If you guys are interested, my brother here streams.

SPEAKER_01 50:19

Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_02 50:21

Consistently now, sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 50:22

Yeah, that's right. Tuesdays and Thursdays, morning and night. You can catch me streaming on Twitch under twitch.tv slash senor donuts.

SPEAKER_02 50:34

What are you streaming right now? You're you're playing Sly2. Playing through the Sly Collection. You're still playing Clear Obscure?

SPEAKER_01 50:42

So I actually have run into an issue. No, no, no. It's not that it's too hard. It's that I might want to just play that game off stream.

SPEAKER_02 50:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 50:55

Because it's such a good game, and I don't want to be put under the pressure of reacting to stuff that goes on in this game. I just want to experience it, you know. Some games are like great for streaming, and others are just, you know, more, I guess, intimate, if that makes sense. You're looking at me like I'm crazy.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

You're playing a game, dog. You're not making love.

SPEAKER_01 51:18

I don't know, man. When I play these games.

SPEAKER_02 51:23

Alright, guys. We need to follow us at random rentals and bombard us with posts asking Birto to play Silk Song.

SPEAKER_01 51:34

I mean, I do have it. So and I look at this guy. He spent $20 on the game. And I haven't played it yet because I'm still I'm still wondering if I should stream it when everybody and their mom is streaming it. It's it's hard, dude. Like you have to you have to take a look and see what other people are streaming. You have to make decisions based on that and what times people are streaming. Like, you have to look at things. Like people think that streaming is just like, oh, dude, I'm just gonna play a video game and people are gonna come watch me. No, it's fucking you have to put thought into what content you're streaming, you have to put thought into making clips of your content so that people will come in. Uh, you have to fix your stream like effects so that you can do cool things in your stream so your chat won't get bored of just watching you play so that they interact with you in different ways. Um, dude, I spent I spent three or four days coming up with different ways to do things uh and programming commands in a program called Mix It Up, watching countless YouTube tutorials, you know, asking questions of fellow streamers about how they fine-tuned things or how they did this, how they troubleshot, you know, these commands. And it's been a crazy learning experience.

SPEAKER_02 53:01

You know, you know what that sounds like.

SPEAKER_01 53:05

What does that sound like?

SPEAKER_02 53:06

Sounds like you're doing the work.

SPEAKER_01 53:08

It it it kind of does, yeah. You're right.

SPEAKER_02 53:10

You're doing the work, man. There's a lot of streamers out there that and I this is more my experience from just when I would tune in to like different stuff. A lot of streamers out there who just pop a game on and then they like try to be funny, and that's really boring. They're not even good at the game. That's the thing with streaming. Like, there are some people who are boring, but they're so good at the game that people just watch because they're like, I want to be as good as this person. And then there's people who kind of suck at games, but they're entertaining. You know, think of like let's play channels.

SPEAKER_01 53:48

I hope I'm in that category.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

Like the the early days of uh um Game Grumps. Jon Tron sucks at games, but they thought he was funny. Yeah, but if you watch those early clips, dude's just awful at games. Don't don't be like Jon Tron, bro. Nah. Play your game and don't be like, hey man, I'm stuck in this game. What do I do? When they just told you what to do five minutes ago.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

Wow. So that happened on my stream, and that's what you're referring to. It could be. I think it I think it is.

SPEAKER_02 54:30

Can't admit it though, because then the vibes are off.

SPEAKER_01 54:35

Wow, wow, wow. Anyways, uh there was a problem with my PS3, and that's why the game uh did what happened. So that's why the game crashed. Which I've never had it happen on uh on stream. On stream. So that was pretty bro. It was crazy, man. That that night that you came in that I was streaming, a raid of 20 plus people came in to watch me play. And they came in just as an ad was playing.

SPEAKER_02 55:08

And then the game crashed.

SPEAKER_01 55:10

And then shortly thereafter, the game crashed, and I had to fucking do something else. Thankfully, a lot of the people stayed, you know.

SPEAKER_02 55:19

Get that thermal paste coin, man.

SPEAKER_01 55:21

I know, right? Gotta clean out my PS3, dust it out.

SPEAKER_02 55:25

You still have the PS3 that plays PS1 games, right?

SPEAKER_01 55:28

Yeah, I have the backwards compatible PS3. It's too old, man.

SPEAKER_02 55:32

You need to upgrade.

SPEAKER_01 55:33

Upgrade to what?

SPEAKER_02 55:35

PS3 Slim.

SPEAKER_01 55:37

That's not backwards compatible.

SPEAKER_02 55:39

Exactly. That's why you get those other consoles for backwards compatible stuff.

SPEAKER_01 55:44

No.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

Why have PS2, man? No, I refuse. PS2 Slim. I refuse. Shop.goodwill.com.

SPEAKER_01 55:52

Yeah, but I have very limited space on my desktop.

SPEAKER_02 55:57

Shop.goodwill.com. That's where I bought my PS2. Well, why don't you buy one for me then crickets.

SPEAKER_01 56:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:15

We'll see. We'll see. Your birthday's coming up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see. All right. Until next time, folks, stick around for the next random rental.